Upon writing this, I am reflecting upon therapy clients who seek help with anxiety. While each has a different story, there are common themes:
- Experiencing ambivalence about many things
- Feeling unfulfilled and unfocused
- Grieving lost hopes and dreams
- Fear of uncertainty
- Not enough time
In a joint effort to combat the indecisiveness, racing thoughts, and overwhelming worries, we discuss daily rituals to optimize their two hours of prime productivity every morning.
We strategize around planning ahead for those situations, relationships and random occurrences which push their anger buttons and threaten to derail their entire day.
We practice deep breathing and other tried + true anxiety busters.
We review tips for gaining control of panic attacks.
We talk about new things to do to increase calm each day (Note to self: stop pushing calm.com even though it works wonders for you 😉 )
We assess for old coping strategies to deal with stress which are no longer effective.
And on and on.
Some days I feel refreshed and proud as insight is gained and personal development assignments are completed.
Other days I wish I had an app for instilling hope when the motivation for change is just not there.
Is not doing the work a result of wanting something so bad but lacking the confidence to risk disappointment?
Is it dysthymia?
Is it repressed anger?
What. Is. It?
Why are some people better suited to a therapy intervention while others not so much?
The answer lies in simplicity and boundaries.
- When you distill your wants + desires into small steps, you shed the unnecessary psychological weight attached to lofty goals
- Firm boundaries guide your way as they softly whisper, let go of that thought; say no to that family gathering; wp themes you can commit 30 minutes each day to emotional wellness
- You’re okay with taking your time
The biggest difference in those who get off the therapy couch and those who do not is best summed up in this gem from positivelypositive.com:
Dr. Dragos, a scientist and filmmaker traveled to Nepal for spiritual enlightenment. On his journey, he met a monk, who despite fleeing from Chinese oppression at five years of age, was supremely happy. Dr Dragos asked him how he was able to stay so happy.
“You know, in the western world you have everything you need to have a happy life. You have access to an abundance of information online, you have freedom, you have bookstores to learn anything you want, you can afford to buy anything you need. You even have apps for meditations! I don’t know what those are because I just sit down and meditate.
You know what the problem really is? You fill your head with so much information but you never put it into practice. You never take action. You never do it. You study meditation, you learn techniques, you take courses, you read books, you go to classes but you never do it on the long run. And it’s driving you crazy.”
Happiness. It’s that simple and that hard.
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If you want to stop driving yourself crazy, click here.
