Happy New Year, friends! It’s been a minute, but here’s some tried and true mental health tips to increase emotional and physical well-being.
The thing about mental wellness is you don’t need a lot of strategies, just the right ones practiced with commitment and consistency.
And you can do hard things. We all can. Regardless of how we got here over the past two years, life has taught us that humans are incredibly resilient.
Speaking of sobering reality…
1. Dry January. I’m well aware that for some of you, it’s too late…or is it? You can always make it a Dry January-ish, or Dry-ish January. This trend started as a way to detox from alcohol for the month. I do it every year and it’s a game changer for starting off more clear, refreshed and healthy. Besides feeling more control of your life and your time, think of all the money you’ll save.
2. Read Dopamine Nation, an amazing book about addiction (not just substances). And if you’re thinking, enough of the teetotaler proselytizing, remember we’re all addicted to something. Psychiatrist Dr. Anna Lembke provides case studies about our pleasure-pain struggles and their effects on the brain. She covers the gamut of addictive behaviors from opioids to masturbation to smart phones to romance novels.
3. Find your deep-breathing go-to. In times of stress we all need calming tools to slow down and reset. Common patterns are the 4-7-8 (inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of 7, exhale for a count of 8). Repeat three times. Make sure to relax your shoulders, rest your palms comfortably at your sides or in your lap, and close your eyes (if this feels safe for you). You can always start with the 3-3-3 or whatever sequence you prefer.
4. Research brain health (or really do #2). Our brains are constantly striving to reach homeostasis. When we reward ourselves with too much of a dopamine hit (whether from a piece of chocolate or alcohol), we’re bound to “come down” via removal of those feel-good chemicals, AKA a dopamine deficit. Taking a mindful moment before reaching for more can restore balance.
5. Know the difference between your brain and your mind. Basically, the brain houses the physical functions which keep us alive and registers environmental stimuli, while the mind processes our mental activities. Recognizing this distinction can encourage a sense of agency. The brain is like a computer, however, the mind chooses how to respond to the incoming information.
6. Make sleep a priority. Statistics abound regarding the negative effects of sleep deprivation on traffic accidents, health problems, loss of work and effects on mood. In all my years of practicing psychotherapy I’ve never met a client who functions on fumes.
7. Clean your room. Not to sound like your mom, but our moods are affected by our physical space. Considering most of us spend a lot of time in our bedroom, it makes sense to tidy up.
8. Organize. The last thing you want is to find yourself scrambling for your car license and registration should you get pulled over for a traffic violation. And if you partake of number 1, the chances are minuscule, at best, am I right?
9. Let go of toxic people. The beginning of the year is a great opportunity to take stock of those people who suck your emotional life dry. Considering our ongoing theme of dry, color this yet another form of detox.
10. Don’t believe everything you see online. We know about “edited reality,” but things have gotten out of hand the past few years. And because I’m working on a big project, I’ve been alternating between serious writing and mindless eye candy breaks via YouTube videos. I found this channel where the host respectfully critiques celebrity plastic surgery. Living in Los Angeles, you’re surrounded by fake, but wow!, it’s amazing how many different procedures exist. Sadly, I owe a couple of my younger clients an apology for dismissing their talk of “endoscopic brow lift” as a thing.
11. Read more. Whether a physical book or online reader, there’s nothing like a good story to take your mind away from the drudgery of daily living.
12. Apologize less. (Or more, if you’ve managed to alienate yourself from people who previously provided emotional support). Since I work with anxious people, the tendency is to over-explain yourself during times of stress. Say what needs to be said and move on.
13. Recognize rumination. This dastardly tendency is akin to emotional vomiting. Mulling, stewing, analyzing and obsessing over every possible angle of a problem is a waste of time. When situations arise, give yourself a time limit for how much “worry time” you’ll devote, and then move on to problem-solving mode. Beware of the Indecision Posse as studies show that being amongst a group of similarly-minded worriers increases feelings of depression and anxiety (and really do #9).
14. Adopt a healthy skepticism about what others say (including the contents of your own mind!), rather than accept things at face value. A wonderful way to increase self and other awareness is to think of possible alternatives regarding content that seems too good to be true, or otherwise, off.
15. Watch your negative bias. We can get caught up in looking at the glass half empty if not intentionally self-aware. Not gonna lie, this one takes a lot of time and effort to reverse.
Click here for an in-depth article to help.
16. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate for optimal brain and body health. Especially if you’re not doing #1.
17. Be extra kind to young people. Man, are they suffering over the past couple of years, especially. Many factors contribute to increases in anxiety and depression: social media, 24/7 tech access, sleep deprivation, lack of social skills, educational deficits, video game addiction, etc. Now more than ever they need the comfort and guidance of measured, compassionate adult role models.
18. Talk to yourself in a gentle way. What you allow in your mind informs the rest of your day. If you wake up and immediately do a mental scan of all the things you must get done, or what didn’t get done yesterday, take pause. Focus instead on what’s going well in your life. For extra positive points, give yourself a big bear hug before getting out of bed.
19. Monitor your thoughts throughout the day. This aligns with numbers 15 and 18, but emphasizes the quality of the content you pay attention to. For example, if you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of worries, fears and catastrophizing, ask yourself, “Is this thought helping me feel how I want to feel?” and “What is a more realistic appraisal of my situation?” and “What can I do to make this problem less intense?”
20. Resist labeling yourself. If you have a mental health diagnosis, know you are so much more than a list of characteristics and personality traits. We’ve all got something, baby. And while some suffer more than others, focus on your unique and special qualities as much as reducing your distressing moods and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
21. Shorten your to-do list. A new year can mean reducing your output, rather than piling on more tasks. Start with this listicle and choose no more than three things that resonate and make those a priority.
22. Devote time daily to your mental health practices. There’s no Mental Health Mountaintop to conquer — life will always present us with problems. As a counter measure, this can be as simple as practicing deep breathing and yoga, or taking a sobering look at your reality and committing to the hard, brave step of psychotherapy. You’re the expert on your life so start where you’re at!
Thanks for being here.
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Yours in mental health is everything!
—Linda Esposito
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